Sunday, November 15, 2015

Let the Music Do the Talking

Okay, so I've now got my viewing of SPECTRE behind me. Though I enjoyed the movie for the most part, I sadly did find myself cringing during the opening credits. Not a good sign. I had checked out the new James Bond movie theme song a few weeks ago, when it first hit the internet. My first impression was "Yuck!". That sentiment was confirmed when I heard the song within the context of the film. I hoped that maybe I'd change my mind about this Sam Smith tune, but nope, not really. 

To be more fair, I think I just have an issue with Smith's voice. If I could remove his vocals from the track and hear the instrumentation alone, I believe I'd love the song. In fact, I heard covers of the song on Youtube that impressed me a whole lot more... female singers gave the song that more traditional Bond sound... starting softly on verses and building to a powerful chorus. A feminine voice seemed more appropriate. So the song itself isn't my problem; the songwriting, instrumental and lyrical, is very cool and evokes a Bondian feel. 


Front desk? Room 62 here. I'd to report a noisy neighbour.
Sam Smith won't stop hollering in the shower next door.

Since this new Bond theme has bummed me out, I've been pondering just how bad this song is, and have been comparing it to what I consider the worst of the 007 songs. I'm happy to say that I like, and even love, the vast majority of the Bond themes. Composer John Barry, working with an assortment of popular songwriters, crafted amazing songs during the 60's, 70's, and even into the 80's. From Russia With Love (1963) was his first gem and The Living Daylights (1987) was his last collaboration. 

Only one song out of John Barry's eleven Bond songs rubs me the wrong way, and even then, I can occasionally enjoy it a bit.. and that is The Man With the Golden Gun. Sung, or screeched, by Scottish vocalist Lulu, the song is also dragged down by a very wonky (and dated sounding) rock guitar and an overly arranged horn section. Kind of brutal.

When John Barry stepped aside in the 80's, a variety of composers took over the podium and continued the string of successful 007 movie songs. Then along came 2002's Die Another Day, the first true flop (in my opinion) out of the entire Bond film franchise's history. It was almost universally panned, and even I, Bond fan that I am, found myself bored to tears through the latter half of the picture. Oh, and that song. You'd think that Madonna, the queen of pop, or whatever she calls herself, would bring something classy and exciting to the table. But no, her song, bearing the title of the movie itself, was a colossal wreck. I know some folks like it, or find it bearable, but I think it's a wreck. The tune doesn't suggest anything Bond in its sound. Simply an overwrought dance club racket, too busy and noisy to establish any sort of mood to suit the spy film. Die Another Day, both the movie and the song, signalled the end of an era... it was time for actor Pierce Brosnan to leave the Bond role. 

Then some blond actor named Daniel Craig stepped into 007's shoes for the next film, Casino Royale (2006). Not only was the movie a massive hit, it revived the floundering franchise. And that theme song! Chris Cornell belted out You Know My Name in the grand tradition of Tom Jones on Thunderball (1965), with backing music as powerful as Paul McCartney's Live and Let Die (1973). Here, everyone captured the tone of classic Bond. Bravo!
Front desk? Room 47. I'm trying to have a quiet bath here,
but it sounds like cats fighting in a laundry bag next door.

Now back to the bad stuff....

You Know My Name gave me false hope... for the follow up Bond film, Quantum of Solace, featured a travesty of a theme song, Another Way to Die. Even its title is uninspired. Hm, let's just throw the word "die" in there and it'll be an amazing Bond song. Nope. The vocal duet of Alicia Keys and Jack White was not only unexceptional, it was painful to listen to it. Terrible "harmony", if that's what they were trying to do. A couple of cats fighting in a laundry bag would sound more pleasing. The overall sound is about as irritating as it could be. Messy song construction and performance. The staccato trumpet blasts à la Bond failed to bring this any closer to a 007 vibe. So sad. Oh, and the movie was a major letdown, too. 
  
If I had to rank my worst Bond movie theme songs of all time, I think it would go like this, number one being the worst:

1. Another Way to Die
2. Writing's On the Wall
3. Die Another Day
4. The Man With the Golden Gun

At least Writing's On the Wall isn't as noisy and abrasive as Another Way to Die. I'll give it that. Yet I can stomach the electro-dance of Die Another Day more easily than Smith's whiny falsetto on Writing's On the Wall. Too bad, because the the vocals aside, this new Bond song is actually quite good. I just can't get past that guy's attempt at BeeGee's territory... hey, leave it to the Gibb brothers to do that. Thanks a lot, Sam.

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