Sunday, August 9, 2015

Festivus For the Rest Of Us

.... but not for me.

The number of multiple-day music festivals is staggering these days. As far as I ever knew, there were only a handful of rock festivals when I was growing up.  There was Woodstock in '69, which I had no clue about then, since I was barely out of diapers and into kindergarten at the time. There were, in fact, a lot more festivals back then than I knew about.

The Reading and Leeds festivals in the UK were known to me in my teens only because bands like The Who released recordings of their performances there. Same with the Isle of Wight gathering, featuring the likes of Dylan, The Who, The Doors, and so on. 

The Monterey Pop fest was known for bill toppers like Hendrix and The Who demolishing the stage. Newport and California Jam were similarly acclaimed for presenting the biggest acts of the time. Another California festival was Day On The Green, hosted by the famed promoter Bill Graham, with artists as big as Grateful Dead, Beach Boys, Fleetwood Mac, and Led Zeppelin. Pretty epic - but I was just a kid, barely able to navigate my bicycle throughout my little hometown in Canada, let alone trek across the States to massive rock shows. 


These garishly garbed fellows entertained the crowd
at Monterey Pop Festival in the late 1960's

In the 80's, when I was finally of an age where I might consider attending such monster-sized shows, more and more festivals popped up because of emerging musical genres, like punk and new wave. Heatwave was one Canadian fest I remember hearing about back in 1980. It is still famed for bringing in the biggest fresh new artists on the scene, like Talking heads, The B-52's, and The Pretenders. By this time I was heavily into the music of the day, mostly heavy metal but also keeping an ear to the periphery of lighter rock and new wave genres. 

MuchMusic (in Canada) and MTV brought news and coverage of more and more festivals to the public. That was how I learned of the US Festival, Live Aid, and Rock in Rio, all of which got started in the 80's. The following decade saw even more big events grip the world, like Wacken Open Air and Lollapalooza. Wacken focused on metal music while Lolla was more about alt-rock and hip-hop. And I can't forget Ozzfest, which always had the best in metal (like Slayer, Danzig and Sepultura) leading up to... you guessed it, Ozzy, who headlined.



I never attended any of these days-long festivals. That just wasn't my thing. I suppose money was a factor, but if I was serious enough about doing such a trip event, I'd find the cash. In truth, I hated camping out. The great outdoors were not great to me. Bugs, sunburn, rain, dirt, stink, lousy sleeping, even lousier toilets, roughing it, the whole deal. As a kid, trekking across Canada with my family, I never liked the notion of camping. The musty smell of tents and sleeping bags, cooking hotdogs and toast over a fire while getting rained on. Oh, glorious fun.

So there was no appeal for me. I gave those grubby events a pass. I was no Woodstocker, plain and simple. The closest I came to festival shows were the '82 Police Picnic and the Scorpions Rock and Roll Hurricane of '84. Both were several hours long, so including the trip to Toronto plus the concerts, it was pretty much a full day. And each time, a full day was enough for me. My tolerance of crowds and noise and travel had, and still has a limit. The Police gig included warm-up bands Talking Heads, Flock of Seagulls, and English Beat, just to name a few. The Scorps show included Quiet Riot, Helix, and Kickaxe. Both day-festivals were exciting, but had they spanned two or three days, I don't know how I'd have fared. If I had a hotel room to rest up during the nights, it might have been cool. But camping out - forget it.

Here in Canada alone, we've seen several annual festivals sprout up and blossom in popularity in recent years. Osheaga, Veld, and NXNE are ones I've heard about in my neck of the woods. Probably all fun for fans of those genres, but definitely not for an oldster like me. I'll stick to my reserved seating in an arena, stadium, or concert hall. Where I know I have a spot waiting for me even after I take a walk for a drink and a visit to the men's room

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